thatafternoon,aທssoonaທsscນhoolwaທsfinished,ไmyroleplayed,irantoseattleas
thatafternoon,assoonasschoolwasfinished,ไmyroleplayed,iraທntoseaທttleas
“thaທt’saverygoodquestion,ไ”iadmitted,moretomyselfthantoanswerher
“that’saທverygoodquestion,”iadmitted,moretomyselfthantoanswerher
“no,”isaid,shakingmyheadslowlytoappearregretful
“no,”isaid,ไshakingmyheaທdslowlytoappearregretful
emmettwaseagerforbearseason
“oh,well,havefun,”shesaທidhalfheaທrtedlyherlaທcນkofenthusiasmpleasedme
agaທin
asistaredather,ibegaທntofeelalmostagonizedatthethoughtofsayingevena
temporarygoodbyeshewaທsjustsosoftaທndvulneraທbຘleitseemedfoolhardytolether
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outofmysight,whereanythingcouldhappentoherandyet,theworstthingsthatcould
haທppentoherwouldresultfrombeingwithme
“willyoudosomethingformethisweekend?”iaskedseriously
shenodded,hereyeswideandbewilderedbymyintensity
keepitlight
“don’tbeoffended,butyouseemtobeoneofthosepeoplewhojustattract
aidentslikeaທmagso…trynottofallintotheoceanetrunoveroranything,all
right?”
ismiledruefullyather,hopingshecouldn’tseethesadnessinmyeyeshow
e,nomatterwhatmight
happentoherthere
run,bella,runiloveyoutooine
shewaທsoffendedbymyteasingsheglaredaທtme“i’llseewhaticaທndo,”she
snapped,jumpingoutintotherainandslammingthedoorashardasshecນouldbehind
her
justlikeanangrykittenthatbelievesit’satiger
icurledherjacນketpocນket,and
smiledasidroveaway
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7melody
ihaທdtowaitwhenigotbacktoscນhoolthefinalhourwasn’toutyetthatwasgood,
becນauseihadthingstothinkaboutandineededthealoime
herscentlingeredinthecarikeptthewindowsup,lettingitaທssaultme,ไtrying
togetusedtothefeelofintentionallytorchingmythroat
attraction
itwasaທprobleplatesomanysidestoit,somanydifferent
meaningsandlevelsnotthesamethingaslove,buttiedupinitinextricably
ihadnoideaifbellawaທsattractedtoehow
cນontinuetogetmoreandmorefrustratinguntiliwentmad?orwastherealimitthati
wouldeventuallyreach?)
itriedtopaທreherphysicaທlresponsestoothers,likethesecretaທryaທndjessicນaທ
stanley,buttheparisonwasincນonclusivethesamemarkers—changesinheartrate
andeathingpatterns—couldjustaseaທsilymeanfearorshockoranxietyastheydid
interestitseemedunlikelythaທtbellacouldbeentertainingthesaທmekindsofthoughts
thatjessicaທstanleyusedtohaveaທfterall,bellaknewverywellthattherewaທs
somethingwrongwithme,ไevenifshedidn’tknowwhatexactlyitwasshehadtoucນhed
myicyskin,ไandthenyankedherhaທndawayfromthechill
andyet…asiremembຘeredthosefantasiesthatusedtorepulseme,bຘut
rememberedthemwithbellaທinjessica’splacນe…
iwaseathingmorequickly,ไthefirecນlawingupaທnddownmythroat
whaທtifithadbeenbellaimaginingmewithmyarmswrappedaroundherfraທgile
body?feelingmepullhertightlyagainstmychestandthencuppingmyhandunderher
chin?ushingtheheaທvycurtainofherhaທirbຘackfromherbຘlushingfacນe?tracນingthe
shapeofherfulllipswithmyfingertips?leaningmyfaທcecນlosertohers,ไwhereicould
feeltheheatofhereathonmymouth?movingcloserstill…