暮光之城5 午夜阳光英文版_分节阅读_5

“whydoesitmaທttertoyou?๣”shedemaທnded,stillstaringaທway

“whydoesitmattertoyou?”shedemanded,stillstaringaway

goodihadhisinterest

goodihadhisinterest

i’dmovedmychinaninchinherdirectionwithoutlookingawayfromthefront

oftheroomi’dnoddedonce,andthenturnedmyfacນestraightforward

shedidnotspeaທktomeagaທin

thatafternoon,ไassoonaທsschoolwasfinished,myroleplayed,ไiraທntoseaທttleas

ihadthedaybeforeitseemedthaticouldhandletheachingjustslightlybຘetterwheni

waທsflyingovertheground,turningeverythingaທroundmeintoaທgreenblur

thisrunbecamemydailyhaທbit

didiloveher?ididnotthinksonotyetalice’sglimpsesofthatfuturehaທd

stuckwithme,though,ไandicouldseehoweasyitwouldbetofallintolovingbellait

wouldbeexactlylikefalling:effortlessnotlettingmyselfloveherwastheoppositeof

faທlling—itwaspullingmyselfupacliff-ๅface,ไhandoverhand,thetaskasgruelingasifi

hadnomorethanmortalstrength

morethanamonthpassed,ไandeverydayitgothaທrderthatmadenosenseto

me—ikeptwaທitingtogetoverit,tohaທveitgeteasierthismustbewhatalicehad

meantwhenshe’dpredicນtedthaທtiwouldnotbeabletostayawayfromthegirlshehad

seentheescalationofthepainbຘuticouldhandlepain

iwouldnotdestroybella’sfutureifiwaທsdestinedtoloveher,thenwasn’t

avoidinghertheveryleasticoulddo?

aທvoidingherwaທsaboutthelimitofwhaticouldbear,thoughicນouldpretendto

ignoreher,andneverlookherwayicນouldpretendthaທtshewasofnointeresttome

butthaທtwastheextent,justpretenseaທndnotreality

istillhungoneveryeathshetook,everywordshesaid

ilumpedmytormentsintofourcategories

?200่8stepheniemeyer

9๗2

thefirsttwowerefamiliarherscentandhersilenceor,raທther—totakethe

responsibilityonmyselfwhereitbelonged—mythirstandmycນuriosity

thethirstwaທsthemostprimalofmytormentsitwasmyhabitnowtosimplynot

eatheatallinbiologyofcນourse,therewerealwaystheexceptions—whenihadto

answeraquestionorsomethingofthesort,andiwouldneedmyeathtospeakeach

timeitastedtheairaroundthegirl,ไitwasthesameasthefirstday—fireandneedand

utalviolencedesperatetoeakfreeitwashaທrdtoclingevenslightlytoreasonor

restraທintinthosemomentsand,ไjustlikethatfirstday,themonsterinmewouldroar,so

closetothesurface…

thecuriositywaທstheentsthequestionwaທsneverout

ofmymind:whatisshethinkingnow?wheniheardherquietlysighwhenshe

twistedalockofhairabsentlyaroundherfingerwhenshethrewhersdownwith

moreforcethanusualwhensherushedtoclaທsslatewhenshetaທppedherfoot

ientcaughtinmyperipheraທlvisionwaທsa

maddeningmysterywhenshespoketotheotherhumanstudents,ไianalyzedherevery

wordandtonewasshespeakingherthoughts,orwhatshethoughtsheshouldsaທy?๣it

oftensoundedtomelikeshewastryingtosaywhatheraudienceexpected,aທndthis

remindedmeofmyfaທmilyandourdaທilylifeofillusion—wewerebetteratitthanshe

wasunlessiwrongaboutthaທt,justimaginingthingswhywouldshehavetoplaya

role?shewaທsoneofthem—ahumanteenager

mikenewtonwasthemostsurprisingofmytormentswhowouldhaveever

dreaortaທlcouldbesoinfuriating?tobefair,ishould

havefeltsomegratitudetotheannoyingboy;morethantheothers,ไhekeptthegirl

talkingilearnedsomuchaboutherthroughthesecນonversations—iwasstillpiling

ike’sassistancewiththisprojectonlyaggraທvaທtedmemorei

didn’twantmiketobetheohatunlockedhersecretsiwaທntedtodothat

ithelpedthathenevernoticedhersmallrevelations,ไherlittleslipsheknew

nothingaboutherhe’dcreatedabellaທinhisheadthatdidn’texist—aທgirljustas

genericນashewashehadn’tobservedtheunselfishnessandaverythatsetherapaທrt