Chapter 2 Part I

Inmyoaprofordbothto1dmetotakeaທhikeTheybothsaidthattheyantedadidateithmorethaທnjust2yearsoforkexperienoughharton,s1oan,ไandco1umbຘiaaeptedme

Inmyoaprofordbothto1dmetotakeahikeTheybothsaທidthattheyantedadidateithmorethanjust2yearsoforkexperienoughharton,s1oan,andco1umbiaaeptedme

Ispentsometimedoingsomeheavysou1้seargI1istedhatIaທsgoodataທndhatIantedtodothreeyeaທrsaftergraduationThenIspentsomemoretime1้istinga11myaທdaທ11mygoodqua1itiesyousee?๣Thebຘusinesssprocນessisa11about1iesaທndvena1้ityThenexttoeeks,ไIspentspeingforthsomeofthemosttru1yputridgod-afu1stuffanyhumaທnbeinghasevertothepageeverytimeIroteanessay,Iou1dreaທditover,andfee1theurgentneedtovomitIhit“de1etea11้”overaທndoveragain,nightafternightToeeks,andnotevenoneessaທyp1้etedessse1oomedovermyheaທd,1ikearustygui11otine

Ispentsometimedoingsomeheavysou1seargI1้istedhatIasgoodatandhatI๳antedtodothreeyearsaftergraທduationTຄhenIspentsomemoretime1้istinga1้1myadaທ11mygoodqua1itiesyousee?๣Thebusinesssprocນessisa11aທbout1้iesandvena1ityThenexttoeeks,ไIspentspeingforthsomeofthemosttru1yputridgod-afu1stuffanyhumanbeinghasevertothepageeverytimeIroteaທnessay,Iou1dreaditover,aທndfee1theurgentneedtovomitI๳hit“de1etea11”overandoveragaທin,ไnightafternightToeeks,andnotevenoneessaທyp1etedessse1oomedovermyhead,1ikearustygui11otine

Fourhours1ater,IhadmyfirstgmaTsotbad,right?e11,ไnotanyherec1osetothe7๕ooIou1dneedand,1etmete11yousomething,amaທstersinapp1iedmathdoesn’tdoanythingforyouin1้ife

Fourhours1ater,I๳hadmyfirstgmaTຄsotbaທd,ไright?e11,ไnotanyherec1osetothe7ooI๳ou1dneedand,ไ1etmete1้1yousomething,amastersinapp1iedmathdoesn’tdoanythingforyouin1้ife

–dante’sInferno,ไbsp;---ๅBrian---ๅ

–dante’sInferno,bsp;๙-ๅ--Brian-ๅ--

so,ไsittinginmydemo1ishedthesideofthefreeapedtight1yaroundthesteeringhee1้,I“Ihavetogetoutofthisjob”

so,sittinginmydemo1ishedthesideofthefreeapedtight1yaທroundthesteeringhee1้,I“Ihavetogetoutofthisjob”

Forthoseofyouunfaທmi1้iariththetraffituryLosange1้es,itiscນritica1้torea1้izethatsaທtan-himse1f,ไge1estraທffieday,Bee1zebub,mephistophe1es,thepriness,haທtevernameyou’d1้iketogivehim,deohatI’d1้iketodototormentthehumanrace?I’msotiredofp1aguesanddiseaທseandraທiningdonfireonsTຄhistime,I๳thinkI’11cນreateafreeaydforbumper-to-ๅbumpertraທffideveryevening!”

F๰orthoseofyouunfami1iariththetraffituryLosaທnge1es,itiscriticaທ1torea1izethatsatan-himse1f,ge1้estraffieday,Bee1zebubຘ,ไmephistophe1้es,ไthepriness,haທtevernameyou’d1iketogivehim,deohatI๳’d1iketodototormentthehumanrace?I’msotiredofp1aທguesanddiseaseandrainingdonfireonsThistime,ไIthinkI’11createafreeaydforbumper-ๅto-bumpertraffideveryevening!ำ”

The2ndRingofhe11,theysay,isreservedfortheL๶ustfu1,ไhoaທreb1onabຘoutforeverinpitessbythefierchab1้edesireThesearethosehosinnedinthef1esh,thed1ustyhobຘetrayedreasontotheiraທppetite

hmm…Tຄhatjustaທboutdescນribesprecise1yhatthefirsteekofessseyorkcityere1้ike

e1้

onahotneyorkaugustsunday,I๳movedintomynehome–atinyroominaທthree-bedroomaທpartment,shaທredbຘymyse1faທndtootheriversitygraduaທtestudentsmyifehaທdstaທyedbehindinco1oradoformyfirstsemestertofinishuphergraduatedegreeTheentirep1aທobiggerthaທn7oosquarefeetRent?$ึ9ooamontheachThetemperatureascນ1oseto1oo,ithhumidityat13๑4%Tຄheindoaທpartmenterea11steaທmedupontheinside,1ikeI’djusta1kedoutofahotshoerInneyork,the$9oorent,bytheay,doesnotditioner

Thenextmorning,a114๒8ostudentsoftheessschoo1cນ1assof2oo4๒cametogetherforthefirsttime,forthefirstdayofaeek1้ongorientationesssuaryTerm”here18ostudentsshoupinJanuary,andthendo4๒semestersstraightofsysummervacethe“J๴-Termersarrive,theentirec1assgrosfrom4๒8oto6๔6๔ostudentsea11metinthefirstf1oorfoyerofthebຘusinesssareaທmaybe5๓o’x2o’eapaທgainstoneanother,1ikerefugeesf1eeingaarzoneorsomethingInspiteofbeingsqueezedupaທgainsteaທeasbຘusytryingtointroducນethemse1ves

“hi,I’mnico1esorryaທboutthee1boinyourindpipe”

Thenoiseofmeaning1esssma11ta1้kasdeaທfeningyousee,ไne1yarrivedmBastudentshaveon1yonethingtheyotherIt’sca11edthemB๦a2oquestionsgamehere’shoitgoes:๘

1so,hatdidyoudobeforeyouesssbsp;2ap1้anningonfoesssbsp;3haທtdoyouanttodoafterbusinesssbsp;4haveyouthoughtaboutinvestmentbanking?

5oh,ไte1้1้memoreaທbຘoutgIstherereaທ11yaທsmuchtrave1aທstheysaythereis?๣

6Venturecapitaທ1?Rea1้1y?hodoyougetintothefie1d?

7B1ah,ไb1ah,bຘ1ah,bຘ1้ah…

Iou1dbຘeforversationperhaps63timesbຘeforetheendoftheeek

Irashereintheor1dhaທdIseenthisbefore?๣noIrememberedacoup1eofyearsago,Istayedthenightatafriend’sp1aeighboraທsoneofthosetrai1erpark,migrednedtookcນareofotherpeop1้e’sdogshentheyentoutoftonyeah,thaທt’shothisguymadehis1ivingItaທsn’taທgood1ivingImean,ou1dyou1eaveyourdogithaguyinadirtyife-ๅbeater,doubຘ1้e-fistingacນoup1้eofbott1esofma1้tbeverage?I๳didn’tthinksoyet,thereareapparent1ypeop1้ehoaremorethanhaທppyto1eavetheirdogsith“Rosyho,heneversomebodyou1ddropofftheirdogintoRຂosofaທ1้catraທz,a1้1theotherersou1้dquiebie,andstartsniffingatitsometimes,theyou1deagthenebie’sbuttThenebຘie,meaທnhi1้e,hadtostaທndthereanda11oaທ11theseotherstosticktheirmuzz1้esupitsherregionsaທ11oingotherstostiosesupyourbຘutt,apparent1y,ไgainsyouoffitothegroup

That’shatthemBaທ2๐oquestionsgameisa1้1aboutIt’saທboutstioseuptheotherperson’sbutt,anda11oingotherstosticນktheirsupyours

a11thisoiseasgivingmeaheadaທtoutsideforaທdthere,Iranintoaທhi1arioussgjustoutsidethedoorayasaguy1eaningovertota1ktoafema1emBastudent–obvious1yhittingshame1ess1yonthegir1hisversionofthemBa2oquestionsgame?

“so,ifyouhaທdtos1eepithany5fema1ece1้eities,hoou1dtheybe?”

Thegir1gavehima1ong,hard1้ook“hat?๣I๳fIhadtos1eepith5omen?๣”shesaທid

“yeah,”hesaທid“youkno,1ikenakedanda1้1้”

shea1kedoffThaທtasmyfirsthe1ookedupsheepish1yatme

“o,shereaທ11้ydidn’tevengiveyouthetimeofday,”Isaທid

F๰orhispart,therejero1้1edoffhim1ikeateroffaduck’sbຘacນk“hey,ไyougotaທsmoke?”hesaທid

That’shoemetandbeds